Saturday, January 14, 2017

Ass Worship Captions 141-150

Hello, perverts! Let's ring in the New Year with 10 brand new Ass Worship captions.

I was still trying to decide on a resolution, so my keyholder suggested a good one - "Eat your keyholder's ass more often". But, I mean, I'm sure it's only a suggestion.

Successful relationships are based on honesty.

Vicariously enjoy the vacations you pay for...

She figured you out quickly, huh?

Never say never.

Her bridesmaids are all girls who dumped you at some point.

There's only one place you're worthy of kissing Anneliese Snow.

Believer her, even if she laughs as she says it.

The life of an ass-obsessed cuckold.

One of those overly long NYE kisses with far too much tongue 
that make everyone else uncomfortable.

How dare you!

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Chastity Captions 161-170

Enjoy these 10 new Chastity Captions! I hope you all have a sexually frustrated 2017 like you deserve, perverts!

Now say it. 
She likes to hear your voice waver.

Just getting to see them is a privilege, 
don't you agree? 

True friendship.

Real apologies include jewelry and foot kisses...

Any expectations are your own fault.

At least she's honest with you.

 Leak, sob, and throb.

That's better than no boners!
Thank her with a new car.

Let her lube her dildo with your tears.

Again. With feeling this time.

Saturday, October 8, 2016

Cuckold Captions 141-150

 I'm back with 10 more brand new Cuckold Captions! Enjoy!

Good luck explaining that away...

The only time she lets you see her naked are when she's demonstrating
how her bull fucked her.

That way he's able to fuck both of you at once!

It's like she's trying to make you feel bad.

The HR rep is a tall guy who spends most of his free time at the gym.
You can trust him.

You probably shouldn't have said anything...

Only 36? Don't be insulting.

 Truth and begging will get her the fucking she deserves.

She told you she wouldn't cheat on you, if you were just six inches long.
Since you're barely half that, she's on the hunt for twice that.

You don't even factor in.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Chastity Captions 151-160

I'm back with 10 brand new Chastity captions! Enjoy, perverts!

It's just that they keep laughing about it... 

Why don't you try focusing on someone else for a change? 

 I mean, do you want to make her sad?

Her butthole will probably say no.
But you should ask anyway. 

That's what you get for bothering her.
It's your own fault, really. 

That's ok, you didn't want an orgasm for Christmas, did you? 

Sure, you didn't hear anything.
But that's probably because you were so focused on jerking off. 

Just nod and say thank you. 

That apology better be sincere.

You can spank her tight teen ass brutally...
It will only make your blueballs infinitely worse, but you can.

Sunday, April 17, 2016

Videos 7: "The Lobster"

I recently ran across a new movie called "The Lobster". It's a limited-release dark comedy shot in Ireland. It was shown at both the Cannes Film Festival and the Toronto International Film Festival in 2015, and won a prize at Cannes - so the film itself is worth watching.

But why might it be of special interest to you, dear reader? Let's take a look at the plot description from Wikipedia (click to enlarge, no spoilers):

"Masturbation is banned, but sexual stimulation by the hotel maid, 
without orgasm, is mandatory." 
Yes. Please.

Obviously, this is relevant to my interests. And I'm sure you're wondering who plays The Maid...

"I'm Ariane Labed, and I'll be starring in your fantasies from now on."

"Not even one of them is attractive. Again."

As you might have gathered from her expression above, the whole maid-sturbation (sorry) angle is played dead serious. It's the job of The Maid, and she clearly treats it as such. There's something very hot about how business-like she is as she goes about her duties.

 "Sir will keep his hands to himself."

I won't mislead you, this isn't a huge part of the film. But it's worth checking out if you're in the mood for a dark comedy - or if you're looking for an easy way to bring up tease and denial with your significant other. The Lobster will be released in the US on May 13, 2016.

Monday, September 14, 2015

Chastity Captions 141-150

I'm back with 10 more brand new Chastity captions! This set includes my 150th chastity caption. That's a milestone for me!

The resolve of a chastity slave melts faster on the beach than a snowball.

She means the end of the year, of course, not the end of this semester.
It's your mistake, really.

A financially-independent dominant is an especially dangerous creature.

Be grateful or die of blue balls.
It's all the same to her.

Careful. It's one month for every five seconds...

Just agree with her. It'll go easier on you.

 Anything you complain about can and will be used against you.

Also, she could use a good laugh.

Don't forget to thank her for being so generous.

Putting your key in her hand and  
creating 150 chastity captions is also acceptable.